For the last few months I have felt God prompting me to write. I am not a writer. I am a lawyer and worse than just a lawyer I am a litigator and so I am used to arguing for a living and engaging in conflict to try to find a resolution but a writer no. However as I have reached a crossroads in my life I keep asking God what the next chapter will be, what plans he has for me, what he is calling me to and each time I just keep sensing I need to start writing and that that writing will be part of the answer.
There feels a real vulnerability in putting your thoughts, weaknesses, failures, hopes and dreams out there but at this stage when I have no idea where God is taking me and what the future is going to look like I know I have to be obedient and write even if only for my own benefit.
I think part of what I have to write about is my story over the last 10 years and the lessons life/God has taught me and continues to teach me, the heartbreak, the pain, the battles but also the joys, the amazing blessings and the beautiful people I have been given to do this life with.
10 years ago I was engaged to be married to a boy that on paper was not someone I ever expected to end up with – a boy that liked to party, a boy that came from a very different background, a boy that had never stepped foot in a church but a boy who was everything I needed, who made me laugh and loved me totally.
10 years on life is not were I expected it to be – I have buried 3 out of my 4 closest male family members, have had a baby, lived through the hideous journey that is cancer, dealt with tax bills/foreign property/my mother whilst trying to be a good mum, daughter, sister, friend and hold down a job which has more of its fair share of stressful moments. I have sworn, screamed, battled God to the extremes and without a doubt I have driven those closest to me to the edge but in the midst of it all I have learnt so much about life, about people, about myself and above all about God.
I remember listening to a lady at a conference, a few years ago, whose husband was piloting the first plane to hit the twin towers and her overwhelming message was of beauty from the ashes and I can truly, hand on heart, say that there is really beauty to come out of the ashes and that I have been blessed beyond measure.
So as I start this writing journey if you fancy popping by and joining me you are very welcome x